Aftermath
by Scandalacious Intentions
Summary: "Suddenly serious, he met Lupin's eyes. "Remus, you're my only friend in the world. Please."" After the events in the Shrieking Shack, Sirius visits his old friend to find that their reunion doesn't go quite as smoothly as he had hoped.


**Disclaimer: It's all J.K.'s. If it was mine, my bank manager would be forced to be nice to me.**

The little cottage on the coast was much the same as it had always been, homely and deceptively ordinary. Though it was in fact one of the most extraordinary buildings in all of England.

For all outward appearances, it was much the same as every other cottage in Hope Cove and the deeds were in the name of the local comprehensive school's music teacher. However, half of the cellar had been converted into a locked and highly protected cell from which strange noises were heard every few weeks. Owls swooped along the high cliffs until they reached Sleepy Cottage where they would make their presence known. It was also filled with the exceptionally odd possessions of Mrs. Lupin's late husband who had died tragically and mysteriously.

Unbeknown to the locals, Sleepy Cottage had never been stranger. For its grounds currently housed a werewolf and an escaped convict, though the latter had yet to make his presence known.

Sirius Black loitered beside the empty and disused chicken shed, safe in the knowledge that hidden amongst Mrs. Lupin's hydrangeas, he would not be seen. His hands twitched and for the first time in over a decade, he found himself craving a cigarette just to give him something to hold. His blood itched with desperation; an itch he could never scratch.

He kept his piercing silver eyes locked firmly on the crimson door, waiting for it to fly open and reveal a grinning Remus who would be pleased to see him and proceed to make him tea and force feed him clotted cream.

Sirius laughed bitterly. The July sun was now high in the sky and the curtains had not even been opened. He sighed and pushed his way out of the shrubbery. He had no choice but to knock the door.

No answer. He knocked again, hoping against hope that he had remembered the location correctly. If this was the home of a terrified Muggle, he didn't think he could pass himself off as a door-to-door salesman.

He tried the latch and found the door unlocked. The porch was dark, lit only by a long thin beam of sunlight that streamed through the doorway.

"Remus?"

He heard a faint hiss and met glowing amber eyes. He frowned and wondered whether he had eventually lost his mind.

"Seriously," said a muffled voice, the face of its owner pressed firmly into the flagstone floor, "this really isn't a good time. If you're here about the double glazing, go away before I set this cat on you. She's lethal."

Sirius gave a pathetic shadow of a laugh and stepped backwards as said cat made towards him, stepping slowly off the back of Lupin's head.

"Rowntree."

The cat was considerably older, fatter, and greyer, but Sirius still wouldn't like to cross her. Twelve years on, she could still pin Lupin to the ground and keep him there, and Sirius had no intention of allowing himself to meet the same fate.

He turned to Lupin who still lay face-down on the floor. "Would you like a hand?"

Lupin heaved himself to his feet and ignored the offer of help. His eyes were framed by heavy bags, and bloodshot. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm here about the double glazing."

Lupin remained unimpressed. "What are you really doing here?"

"I er…I came to see you."

Lupin frowned slightly, his expression one that invoked the impression that he was struggling with a particularly complex mathematical equation. "You came to see me?" he repeated, in a different tone entirely. "You came to see me?"

Sirius froze. This wasn't the reunion he expected. "Yeah."

"I lost my job, I lost my dignity, I lost any trace of a good reputation, and worse, I lost every scrap of respect anyone has ever had for me. I lost all that because of you. I'm only just getting my head round the fact that I didn't lose my friends to you."

Sirius nodded mutely. There was nothing to say.

"And do you know what really baffles me?"

He shook his head, wishing he had stayed in the flowerbed.

"I'd do it all over again if you asked me to." Lupin smiled grimly. "And don't ask me why. You don't make it easy to love you, but you do have very sweet eyes as a dog. I'm going to pin it on that." He grinned. "Would you like some tea?"

Sirius beamed. This was more like it. "If it's not too much trouble."

"Course not. Get upstairs and shower too. You're not standing in my kitchen like that. I feel grimy just looking at you."

"Mrs. Lupin?"

Lupin rolled his eyes. "I can't help it. I spend too much time with her. Come on in."

The kitchen was the same as it had always been, warm and homely. The fairy lights twinkled over the imposing AGA.

"Do you leave them up all year?"

Lupin nodded. "My mother thinks they're pretty."

Mrs. Lupin's influence was seemingly everywhere, with the exception of the dining table which was littered with newspapers, cuttings of articles, scraps of paper, and glue.

"Arts and Crafts is the new Defence, is it?" Sirius hovered beside the table and rifled through the cuttings, all of which were about the night that Pettigrew had made his escape. Some were more sympathetic than others, but all were cruel and disparaging toward both Lupin and Dumbledore.

"Don't touch them."

Sirius raised both hands in a gesture of surrender. "Remus, why are you keeping these?"

Lupin laughed. "I'm pinning that one on the wall," he said, pointing to a long article which described him in less than pleasant terms.

"But it says you're a bloodthirsty killer."

Lupin scoffed. "It also describes me as twenty-nine. I have never been mistaken for twenty-nine, not even when I _was_ twenty-nine." His smile became a little forced. "Besides, it's you they're calling a bloodthirsty killer. I'm just your accomplice."

"Touché." Desperately searching for an escape, he shifted uncomfortably. "Um…do you mind if I have that shower?"

"Mind it? I would highly recommend it."

"And have you got a change of clothes? I tried Charming, but-"

Lupin laughed. "Well, since you used to tell me I was an animated twig, I'm not sure. Maybe some of my jumpers might fit you, but the trousers will just look daft hanging around your ankles."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "A little thing called magic has obviously passed you by, Remus."

Lupin smirked. "And they're mostly corduroy."

Sirius made a face, an unattractive one that couldn't seem to decide whether it wanted to show disgust, vague fondness, or pity. "I don't know what else I expected."

Lupin laughed genuinely. "You haven't got much choice. We still have some of my Dad's shirts, but we gave everything else to Mrs. Banfield for the jumble sale. Unless you want to wear his wedding suit."

"Do you think it would fool your mother?"

Lupin merely looked at him. "That wasn't funny when we were sixteen. Now it's actually quite frightening." He frowned. "Besides, it's been twelve years. She doesn't look like she used to, you know."

Sirius shrugged. "I haven't had a woman since I last saw her, Remus. She could be one of your precious Wombles and I think I'd still have to at least try to get her back to mine."

"And say what? Emma darling, this is my cell. This frozen stone slab here is the bed, so if you'd like to make yourself comfortable…perhaps take off all your clothes and lie on it, there's a dear."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Are you quite finished?"

"Oh not yet, but for the time being, I believe I will let it go while you wash off the many layers of grime."

It was more of a villa than a cottage, thought Sirius, as he trooped up the steep flight of stairs, pitying any future occupants who might make the attic a bedroom. Worse, the fourth floor - a sort of second attic. Three steep flights of stairs was really too much for any sane human being to undertake at bedtime. Indeed, he thought, at any time.

The water was cold and he let out a shriek that he hoped Remus did not pick up on. He turned a large dial into the red zone from the blue, and screamed as the water now scorched his skin. He was glad to step out of it, deciding that that was enough excitement for one day.

But at least when he opened the bathroom door, he had been left a pair of brown corduroys, a knitted green jumper that did nothing for his complexion, and (praise God!) a pair of woolen socks.

"Kettle's boiled!"

The tea was made in Lupin's trademark way - like very sweet dishwater.

"Remus, do you pour water on it and then take the bag straight out?"

Lupin shrugged. "Well, I like it so…" He trailed off and took the seat opposite Sirius, who immediately averted his eyes. "Listen, I think we should talk."

Sirius pretended not to hear and continued to stare into the bottom of the mug.

"We're not the same people who used to make each other disgusting tea. It's been twelve years. You know nothing about me."

The silence became increasingly awkward. More than ever before, Sirius wanted that cigarette. Smoking would give him time to think before he opened his mouth. It was a long shot, but he was sharing a table with the man who used to treat tobacco like a close personal friend.

"I know. Have you got a cigarette?"

Lupin shook his head. "I gave it up in 1990. Thought I should make a bit of an effort, seeing as it was a new decade."

Sirius took a sip of tea that equaled the temperature of molten lava. "You see? I'm learning things about you. Are you still a Zen Buddhist?"

Lupin laughed. "I've gone back to Catholicism. You can't beat hypocrisy and self-loathing."

Sirius happened to think that you could, but said nothing. "And clearly you're still a sarcastic little sod."

"Little?" Lupin raised an eyebrow.

"Well, not exactly. You haven't been little since you were thirteen. One day you were shorter than Peter, and the next you were six feet tall."

Lupin smiled grimly. "Speaking of Peter…" He trailed off and seemingly took a tour of the kitchen. "Why did you never make any attempt to tell me? You had twenty-four fucking hours to tell me and you didn't! Why did you never protest? Why did you never demand a trial?" He was almost gasping for breath at the end of a tirade that had clearly been eating away at him for quite some time.

Sirius drained his mug. "Would you have believed me?"

"Of course not. I'd have laughed in your face."

"Then there's your answer." He sighed. "Besides, what would I have said? 'It wasn't me, it was that seemingly common or garden rat'? You wouldn't have been the only one laughing in my face."

"On the contrary," said Lupin darkly, "I would have been the only one who wasn't." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything, but I'm sorry I didn't stop to think. I'm sorry I didn't sit down and work it out, but I wanted to pretend you didn't exist. I'm sorry for that too."

Sirius shook his head. "No, you could never have done it. No-one in the right mind would even suspect it for starters."

"I am never in my right mind. I befriended you, didn't I?"

Sirius smirked. "And you try to apply logic to everything. You broke down Little Red Riding Hood when you were four. I remember your mother telling everyone that the first time she told you the story, you asked how Grandma's body was still intact and said that it surely wasn't scientifically correct that she could be eaten and live through it. A wolf couldn't swallow an elderly woman whole, you said."

Lupin frowned. "You remembered that?"

"I used to think maybe you'd figure it out and then I remembered everyone laughing at something you said. Then I realised it was something your mother was repeating; something about wolves. And I realised then that I was going to rot in that cell for the rest of my life because there is no way, no matter how you look at it, that you could apply logic to what happened and come out with the truth."

"But you didn't. You won't." Try as he might, Lupin could not make the feeling of immense guilt leave him. "Look, it won't be the same. It'll never be the same - our friendship - but it still exists. Neither of us can pretend it's not there. I just don't know how it can go on without James."

Sirius nodded. "Too much has happened, is that what you're saying?"

Lupin shook his head. "No, I'm saying that we fight. We fight all the time. We've never had one that lasted quite this long before, I grant you, but we still had them."

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"No. You know I don't hate you. I could never hate you. These past twelve years, I haven't hated you; I've hated myself to avoid hating you. That has to count for something." Lupin closed his eyes and wearily massaged his temples. "I can't seem to say what I want to say. It's not been my day. I have been up all night, I have been assaulted by a cat, and now I can't think about what I'm going to say, and then just not say it." He took a deep breath. "Okay, here's what I'm trying to say. Remember when we used to share a flat?"

Sirius nodded.

"Remember when we used to grind on one another's last nerves?"

Again, he could do nothing but nod.

"And remember when one of us would bugger off to James's place? Remember when he would sort everything out? Good. Now there is no James. So we have no glue."

Sirius nodded slowly. "So our best friend was a Pritt Stick, is that it?"

"Yes, Sirius. For lack of a better word, James was our Pritt Stick."

"Well, we might not have James anymore, but you've got enough Pritt Stick to last us a good few years," he said, gesturing toward the collage of headlines that littered the table. Suddenly serious, he met Lupin's eyes. "Remus, you're my only friend in the world. Please."

Lupin smiled grimly. "And in truth, you're mine. Besides, seeing as we're both notorious, we might as well be notorious together. At least it'll give us something to talk about. We can while away the long winter nights planning our next dastardly scheme."

Sirius laughed. "Just like we used to, eh?"

"I sincerely hope we won't still be trying to steal sweets in the middle of the night."

"I see. Is the afternoon better for you?"

Lupin merely looked at him.

"Shall I take that as a 'no'?"

"I haven't even told you that you can stay here whenever you need to yet, and already I'm regretting it."

Sirius grinned. "It's all right. I have Grimmauld."

"Grimmauld?" Lupin was appalled. "It'll drive you mad."

"Well, I seem to have mastered the lunatic image; pulled it off for the last twelve years. I might as well go the whole hog."

"Can't argue with that logic."

"Besides, I won't be there that often. I'm starting to agree with James. I'm much more pleasant as a dog. I thought I might stick around Hogsmeade for a while. You know, check on Harry."

Lupin nodded. "I think that's wise. You can take Rowntree with you. If the Ministry find you, she's your best defence."

"I'd end up feeding her to Buckbeak after three days."

"You'd better bloody not."

"You care more about that cat than you do me."

"Was there ever any doubt in your mind?"

It was alarming, thought Sirius, how quickly they had settled back into their usual routine in the aftermath of the horror that had effectively ruined their lives. For all Lupin's 'I'm not the same person' protestations, he certainly appeared to be. They both were. He had just taken an unexpected leave of absence.

"Remus?"

Lupin looked up from the kettle. "Yes?"

"Thank you."


End file.
